Second Life has ruined my son's life!!!!

Tags: Second Life + RPG games + online gaming + games

MelodyL
MelodyL posted on Dec 3rd 2007 7:22PM

I am the mother of a 26 year old young man. He moved away from home at the age of 20. I have no idea if Second Life was around 6 years ago, but let me make one thing perfectly clear. Second Life should be banned from every home everywhere. It is an addiction that takes hold and takes over one's life. I had no clue what my son was doing. He is 26, does not work, gambles, and goes on the computer. That is his life.

He was diagnosed with Aspergers Disorder when he was 21. He was not living at home at the time. It seems that many people with Aspergers do not like other people, do not like to socialize, and choose, as their avatars, Androids in Second Life. Do any of you know what it is like to have a child, and then lose that child to a compuer virtual reality world? I know what this is like. It has happened to me and my family. I do not know who my son is anymore. I don't even know what he looks like. He doesn't care about anything but Second LIfe. I believe he lives, sleeps and eats this virtual reality world. I joined it, just to see what the heck he was doing all day. I had to choose an avatar, and there was my son, inviting me to go flying with him. I admit, it was nice for about 10 minutes. Going shopping and such. It's a nice place to get away for an hour or so once in a while. But to live in this world, to never leave your home, to have no friends, to not have a girlfriend. To not exercise, walk around the block, etc., well, you must understand. This is the same as drinking, drugging, or gambling. It's an addiction. It destroys families.

My son went to college and is brilliant. As are most users in Second Life, I would imagine. But to not see your mother for 6 years. To not call your father when he is in the hospital. To actually tell your parents, "you are no longer a priority in my life". Well, to me, the founders of Second Life should be arrested and put away for life.

They have destroyed families. Shame on them.

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Comments

Guest

kyle says:

deal with it its only a game
Posted: 01/17/10 13:33

Guest

kenna says:

I am sorry... maybe you should try and show him reality. That actually doing something is better that clicking the mouse and watching the computer screen all day. Take him on a vacation (NO LAPTOPS/COMP. ALLOWED).
~Kenna
Posted: 01/18/10 18:03

Guest

kenna says:

and shut up kyle. ur comment doesnt help!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 01/18/10 18:04

Guest

kenna says:

I am sorry... maybe you should try and show him reality. That actually doing something is better that clicking the mouse and watching the computer screen all day. Take him on a vacation (NO LAPTOPS/COMP. ALLOWED).
~Kenna
Posted: 01/18/10 18:05

Guest

kenna says:

I am sorry... maybe you should try and show him reality. That accually doing something is better that clicking the mouse and watching the computer screen all day. Take him on a vacation (NO LAPTOPS/COMP. ALLOWED).
~Kenna
Posted: 01/18/10 18:05

Guest

Mary says:

I understand. I've lost my husband to it. I sit here and watch him drift further adn further away from me everyday and it breaks my heart.
Posted: 01/22/10 00:34

Guest

Adelida says:

I have to be totally honest with you. Second life is 100% Evil and you don't realise it until it is too late and it takes over your life. I have played second life since the begining of December and have had a great awakening today. I feel like a totaly Junkie. It is addictive in the worst possible way. I don't eat properly anymore I dont sleep at all I hardley go out the house and I am on second life all day and night. I feel like im going to physically die i can feel my kidneys throbbing because i havn't drank anything in days but just cant tear my self away. I hate second life for almost ruining my real life. The worse part is it is a totaly pointless game with no stratagy which just hooks you in becase of its clever design. I realise that the reason it is so sucessful is because it allows you to be the person you want to be by banishing the restraints of real life yet in turn stopping you from achieving your real life desires. being on second life is the best feeling in the world i wouls say it was better than drugs. I now know what feels like to be somoone mega popular beautiful with the pefect body like to go shopping for a wardrobe full of clothes and not spend a penny and everything fits no matter what size you are. I can have the most beautiful face, figre and hair I can be a professor of science or a dropout living in slums.The programme makes you feel amaizing because you can be perfect if you want.you can visit foreign lands with out the hassel travelling.You can have the life you always dreamed of and although you not actally on a beach in spain you can hear the waves xrashing against the shore and put your arms around your handsome perfect love and feel like you are loved even though your single and havnt seen a man in years. Its everything you ever wanted at the click of a button. i can be what i want online bt that doesnt mean im defending this ig of a game.In my eyes it is not a real game and should be banned. What it actualy is the thief of time. I found this forum by googling i hate second life. I really hate second life I havn't slept in 4 days because i keep the laptop by my bed and play all night long. I am going to delete the program from my compter and hope I have the stregth to never see second life again I have 5 alternative identies and they are all going. I feel ill im so sick Im exhasted and I just keep drinking coffee because i have stuff do and cant stay away. I walk around the streets when i go out of the house and i see second life everywhere I compare the people I see walking around to people on second life
and the clothes they wear the way they do their hair and i realise that i have made a falsehood my reality. I hope your Son finds a way out soon im glad I found out how evil second life is before it stole my life away from me completly. Im so sick that i was almost stopped from achieving my potential in life the the internet is the universe then second life comes straight from hell. Good luck and God bless
Posted: 01/25/10 22:41

Guest

Ellis says:

SOYLENT GREEN IZ PEEEEOPLE!!!!!Go to hell, the only way you can get your son back is if you become something cooler than that video game(For him) or find something that could fit in that category. If youre not up for that task then quit bitching about it. Who are you to know whats best for him when this kind of thing happened so easily? Humans are born differently, you are a different person coming from a different generation, if you expect ALL the lessons you learned from your era, can be applied to a younger person's life then you are sorely wrong. You must evolve to modern means to treat this "sickness" if thats what you call it.

Also, the only reason we suffer from things is because we LET them happen to us. Sure blame it on other things than yourself but in the end, you know who installed that game, who played it, wasted time on it and LOVED it. Its up to us to get the fuck back on our feet and take flight again.

Same with all of you husbands and wives. Along the way, that person lost his focus on the more important things, Its supposed to be your task to grab his attention back. THIS IS THE REALITY OF IT. Blaming it on shit doesnt do anything, that is a weak weak weak way to deal with things. Godamn people, use them brains for Godsake. He didnt marry you to feel SORRY FOR HIM!!! Work that ass!!!!
Posted: 01/27/10 23:27

Guest

Ellis says:

If you want change to happen, ACT ON IT. Do not rely on measures that NEVER work. If you truly love the person, or if you TRULY love yourself. Then you must stop bitchin (complaining whining cursing calling things evil and sons of satan). Work... your...asses...off.
Posted: 01/27/10 23:30

Guest

Ellis says:

Youre like a stripper. You dance and shit and then feel bad cuz he's looking at the next dancer. even though that dancer is a slut and has aids. Look at you, getting all mad and angry. Wth you gna do about it? ...Work it girl!work it!!
Posted: 01/27/10 23:32

Guest

Rabidtreeweasel says:

To be fair: many people play SL and do *other things* as well. Just like one can be a social drinker, so one can be a social gamer. Is there a danger someone can get addicted to it? Yep. That is true with everything in life that provides a sense of gratification. It is true of work, exercise, sex, food etc. If it can be indulged to excess, someone will find a way to do just that. I am a full time college student, majoring in anthropology. I can not afford to go to Rome or skiing in the alps. There are times I can not even afford a night out with friends. However, I can afford the library, the rental shop, and, when my home work schedule allows it, I can afford to blow a few cents to buy a horse and go galloping through the Serengeti in Sl. I am sorry that someone you love has turned their Second Life into their First Life, but that doesn't mean it should be banned. If that were to happen, there would be a good many people put out of work (yes, you can make a living in SL) and many disabled individuals (such as myself) who's outlet to The Amazing World of the Unimpaired would disappear. So rather than punishing everyone for the mistakes of a few (we are, after all, a free country: free to make our own mistakes *and* free to clean up after ourselves) why not help people like your son help themselves? Therapy is great. Since he has Aspergers, it is possible that he finds it easier to socialize online. It may be filling his need to connect with people, which could have been what turned it into an addiction (just speculation, of course.) Maybe there is someone who can help him learn how to socialize without needing the computer to socialize. Many brilliant people are introverts. It doesn't make him sick, and it doesn't necessarily make him a true addict. Likely, it just makes him someone who needs a little help.
Posted: 01/29/10 15:58

Guest

blamegame says:

Sounds like you are deflecting the blame from your son's condition onto a video game. For the last six years your kid has not been playing second life because it hasn't been around for that long. The issue is not the game but your son's Asberger disorder, and his descent into a closed life of a hermit. I've read about the condition and there is probably little that can be done now he is that old. It's something you should have addressed when he was younger and could have been fixed.
Posted: 01/30/10 10:04

MelodyL

MelodyL says:

How can I have possibly addressed any condition when we never heard of Aspergers, until he got the diagnosis. He had been in therapy for years because of his mis-behaving in school, meltdowns. No one ever told us there was a condition called Aspergers. In my heart of hearts, I'm not sure this is what he has. He is very manipulative and he is a gambler. He puts himself first. It's a shame but I have put so many walls and boundaries up, they will never come down. We all have our little distractions, indulgences, etc, but we don't walk away from family. One should not do that. Just my opinion.
Posted: 02/08/10 16:20

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